My wife, Kathy, passed away this past week. We didn’t see it coming. Looking back, there may have been a few telltale signs something was wrong, but nothing remarkable. On Wednesday evening, May 8, she complained, “I have a headache, and I never have a headache.”
“Oh, you’ve had headaches before,” I answered.
“Not like this one,” she said.
“How’s your headache?” I asked the next morning.
“Still there,” she said.
Later in the day, I noticed a grocery list she had written down. Words were misspelled and irregularly spaced on her note pad. (Not like her at all.) Later in the day, our granddaughters reported her driving to be unusually erratic on a routine trip.
On Thursday evening as we got ready for bed, she casually remarked, “I think I have a brain tumor. I’m going to the ER in the morning.”
“Whatever you say,” I said.
The next morning (Friday) she called a lifelong friend and RN to come to the house. As Kathy voiced her concerns, her friend noticed a slight trimmer in Kathy’s right hand.
“We’re going to the hospital now, she said.
A CT scan revealed a malignant mass in Kathy’s left lung which had metastasized leaving four lesions (tumors) on her brain.
I was by her side when she was given the news. She calmly looked at me and said, “I told you.”
She was immediately transferred from Trousdale Medical Center to Highpoint Regional (Sumner) for an MRI. We received the results on the following morning (Saturday.)
The MRI revealed leakage from the tumors and swelling of the brain. We were given two options due to the aggressive nature of the tumors.
Option one was to transfer Kathy to ICU and begin aggressive radiation treatment. We were later informed by the oncologist due to the size of two of the tumors a positive outcome was unlikely. We would only be buying time.
Option two was take her home under hospice care.
I have experienced only a very few times in my life when I found it almost impossible to take my next breath. This was one of them.
Kathy’s health deteriorated rapidly over the course of the day. After much discussion, we honored her wishes.
She softly whispered, “I want to go home.”
We returned to Trousdale Medical Center where she rested comfortably on Sunday and Monday. As she lapsed in and out of consciousness, she was blessed to continue to recognize those nearest and dearest to her and express her love. I have never witnessed so many “I love you’s”
Over her last fleeting days which turned out to be too few for us she offered a few classic lines.
To a close friend she said, “I have a brain tumor and I’m going to die. And that’s ok.”
Near the end, when we were alone, she whispered, “Jack, it’s going to be alright.” She also told me not to cry.
On Tuesday afternoon we told her we were taking her home to sleep in her own bed. She smiled and whispered, “I’m ready!”
Kathy Oakley McCall gave me three fine sons. We stayed with her and took turns holding her hand and played her favorite music until the end. And we prayed the angels would come quickly. God did not disappoint us.
She was my confidant, my lover, my wife of 44 years, and my sister in Christ Jesus.
God, I’ll miss her!
Copyright 2024 by Jack McCall
