In my immediate family, there are 15 of us now – three sons, three daughters-in-law, eight grandchildren (5 girls, 3 boys), and me. I am discovering that it becomes increasingly harder to try and fill the shoes of a kind and loving mother and grandmother.
The following story is true. The names have been changed or omitted to protect the innocent…or the guilty.
Last week one of my sons, acting as agent for his son, contacted me to see if a grandson could “spend the night” at my house. The wheels were already turning as the plan was to invite the other two boy cousins. Calls were made, permissions granted, the fix was in. I didn’t have a chance. Just after dark three energetic 9-year-olds, give or take a few months, stormed my castle. They are good boys, but they are boys. Every square inch of the house became their kingdom.
They ran, they played, they wrestled, they argued, they surfed the internet, and they built a fort with quilts and blankets in the living room. It was all good. As bedtime approached, I called them in for negotiations.
“Can we go to Early Bird (A local restaurant) for breakfast?” one asked.
That was not in my initial plan, but I complied.
“Sure!” I said, “What time are you guys going to bed?”
“Now, Daddy Jack, I drive a hard bargain!” one replied, sternly.
“How about nine-thirty?” He said, with a smile.
“You got it!” I said. “In the bed by nine-thirty, and we go to the Early Bird.”
“Can we take a bath first?” they asked.
“Go for it!” I said.
I went straight to the bedroom and crashed. It was 9:00PM.
At 10:30PM I was awakened from a deep sleep by three boys standing beside my bed.
“Can we sleep with you?” One asked.
“Come on!”
The snuggler in the bunch crawled right up against me and curled his arm around my neck. He would soon turn and sleep with his knees in my back. I woke up an hour later with a foot in my face. At 2:00 AM I gave it up and moved to the den and the comfort of my Lazy Boy.
In the wee hours of the morning, I was awakened by loud conversation two rooms away. They were wide awake. I groped for the light switch on the lamp to see what time it was. The clock read “4:00.” I hoped they would go back to sleep. I turned out the light and waited. In a moment I heard them coming.
“Daddy Jack, we’ve awoken and can’t go back to sleep!” one offered.
“We will go play in the living room where you can’t hear us,” another chimed in.
“Sounds good!” I managed to say.
I headed back to my bedroom.
At 4:35 AM they were standing beside my bed again.
“We can’t get waked up, Daddy Jack,” one whispered. “Can we take another bath?”
“You bet! Go for it!” I said.
For the next 30 minutes I heard water running and boys talking and laughing until I collapsed into oblivion.
At 5:55AM they were back again.
“Are you ready to go to the Early Bird, Daddy Jack? The leader asked.
Through a foggy brain, I heard myself say, “I’m ready!”
We did the Early Bird up right. Two of them drank coffee; the third had a big Dr. Pepper and a refill.
I later found three boys can go through thirteen bath towels while taking two baths.
I heard one of the boys, when arriving home, went to bed at 5:30 in the afternoon and slept until the next morning.
The following day all three went back to school.
I am still in recovery.
Copyright 2025 by Jack McCall
